How to Train for Muscle Growth: The Real Way Women See Results

Introduction and Misconceptions

Want to build visible muscle tone without spending hours in the gym? After 10,000+ in person client sessions, I can tell you: real results come from a science-backed approach, not random influencer workouts.

Most women I work with want body recomposition: losing fat while building lean, defined muscle. The most effective way to do that? Consistent hypertrophy training (that’s resistance training designed to build muscle) paired with a nutrient-dense, minimally processed diet.

If you’re saving social media workouts designed for someone with completely different genetics, training history or goals, you’re wasting time. Instead, start with what’s scientifically proven, experiment from there and adjust based on what actually works for your body.

What Makes Muscle Grow: Mechanical Tension Explained

The intensity of a workout is what matters when it comes to building muscle. And this has nothing to do with feeling out of breath or the calories burned according to your Apple Watch.

The mechanism to build muscle that we know the most about is mechanical tension. Mechanical tension is a force experienced in a muscle contraction. Mechanical tension peaks when we perform sets to failure or within a few reps of failure. Failure is the point where the activated muscles are incapable of completing another repetition without assistance.

Failure is not to be confused with fatigue. Studies show people think they’re training to failure but they can actually do 5-7 more reps. I can tell when a client is approaching failure because there is an involuntary slowing of contracting speed. This is when there are high degrees of force production and the active muscle fibers experience mechanical tension which is the driver for muscle growth.

How Heavy Should You Lift?

When following a program, select a weight that allows you to perform an exercise for the designated number of reps and be within 1 to 3 reps from mechanical failure (also known as Reps in Reserve or RIR). When I say failure, I mean technical failure, where you can still complete the repetition with proper form.

Both my male and female clients come to me with fears of getting bulky when lifting heavier weights. Mainstream media still promotes light weights and high repetitions to build a “long and lean” physique. The only way to “tone up” is through building our muscle. This is the foundation for a lean physique and the best thing you can do for your health and longevity.

Meta-analyses in 2017 and 2022 found that lighter weights taken to failure can build just as much muscle as heavier loads when total effort is matched.¹² There is an equal hypertrophy stimulus for sets taken from 5 to 30 reps when volume is equated and sets are taken to the same proximity to failure. Gains in 1 repetition maximum (1 RM) strength were significantly greater in favor of high vs low load training.

It’s not about the “perfect” rep range, it’s about the reps that count. The final few reps, when tension and effort are highest, drive growth.

Let’s compare lifting heavier loads vs. lighter loads for the average lifter:

High Load Training for Lower Reps >60% of 1 RM (~ 6-15 reps)

✔ Rep ranges of 6-10 give you a maximal strength benefit in addition to hypertrophy

✔ Works better for bigger muscle groups and compound exercises like traditional deadlifts, squats, pull ups

✔ Build bone and tendon stiffness for longevity and joint health

✔ Higher-threshold motor units are recruited almost immediately. Don’t need to get as close to failure.

✔Better accuracy on RIR and being close to failure

✔Less systemic stress

Low Load Training for Higher Reps ≤60% of 1RM (~ 15-30 reps)

✔ Can work well for isolation exercises like lateral raises and tricep extensions

X Creates more lasting fatigue - central nervous system (CNS) fatigue and cardio demand

X Form more likely to break down at high rep ranges on compound exercises

X More reps needed before you hit failure to get the same end result

X Need to get closer to failure (low RIR) in order to activate larger motor units

X The muscle “burn” signals fatigue, which is not the same as failure. Unless you’re close to mechanical failure, you aren’t building muscle.

X When taken to failure, lower weights are less optimal at bringing mechanical tension to the targeted muscle. For example, if you want to build glutes and you do 20 reps of a squat, what muscle is fatiguing first? For the average person, it will be their cardiovascular system, core and back extensors. The muscle we are targeting needs to fail first.

Based on the above comparison, it’s ideal to keep most hypertrophy training within the 6 to 12 rep range at all times.

Progressive Overload: How to Know It’s Working

It’s important to track your progress to see if what you’re doing is working. Progressive overload is feedback that adaptations are occurring for muscle growth.

If your reps, weight, or performance improves over time, under the same conditions, it means your program is working. It also ensures the stimulus on the muscles continues to be the same. If we never go up, the exercise would begin to feel easier and mechanical tension would go down.

If this week I hit 8 reps of a Romanian deadlift at 125lbs with 2 RIR, then the next week I’ll want to perform the same (8x125lbs) or do more reps, increase the weight, or a combination of both under the same conditions. A good progression would be 6 reps with 1RIR at 135lbs. You don’t have to PR every session, but you should over time.

Tracking your lifts gives you objective feedback to ensure you’re improving and working out with intention and purpose. It’s not about just doing more volume, it’s about doing better.

Volume & Frequency: How Much is Enough?

We can dose resistance training during the week by manipulating the weekly set volume and frequency.

Weekly Set Volume

Training volume is the total number of pounds lifted per week. Volume = sets x reps x weight lifted. Training volume can also be the weekly number of “hard sets”, or sets per muscle group which are close to failure.

A 2022 study on training volume found that 12–20 sets per muscle group per week is the optimal range for most lifters.³ Beyond this set range, the data suggests substantial diminishing returns for hypertrophy and even stronger ones for strength gains. A newer lifter can start closer to 10 sets per muscle group per week. As you get stronger and lift heavier, this naturally increases your total volume so you don’t always have to keep adding more sets.

The minimum effective dose which is sufficient to elicit detectable hypertrophy is 4 sets. The more efficient range is 5-10 sets per week per muscle group for hypertrophy and 2 sets for strength. While doing 10+ sets will produce greater gains in muscle growth than doing fewer than 10 sets, the greatest gains will come from your minimalistic volume.

We do know that more is not always better. Doing too much volume can lead to injury and fatigue. And on the other hand, if you’re short on time, doing just 4 sets per muscle group will still generate stimulus for growth.

Frequency

A 2016 meta-analysis showed that training each muscle group twice per week led to more growth than once per week.⁴ When equated for volume, there was no evidence that training a muscle group 3 times a week was better than 2 times.

Muscle growth doesn’t scale endlessly with more sets. Up to a point, volume helps, but after 10-20 sets per muscle group per week, the gains slow down and fatigue ramps up.

Workout Splits That Fit Real Life

Consistency is the most important thing when choosing a split. Most people can commit to lifting 2 to 3 days per week year round. The majority of your gains will be in the 5 to 10 sets per body part per week. Each workout will have 4 to 6 exercises for a total of 8 to 12 working sets.

If you’re lifting with high intensity with proximity to failure (1-3 RIR) you will create adaptation. Lift 5 or more days a week and you won’t give your muscles enough time to recover. You’ll build up fatigue which affects the motor unit recruitment and energy in future workouts and increases cortisol.

Workout Splits

Full Body
2 to 3 times per week
2 to 3 sets per muscle group

Upper / Lower / Full Body
3 times per week
2 to 3 sets per muscle group

Upper / Lower / Upper / Lower
4 times per week
2 to 3 sets per muscle group

Exercise Selection: Why Basic Beats Fitness Trends

We see a lot of fancy exercises on social media. Curtsy lunge to bicep curl, Romanian deadlift to upright row, burpee to shoulder press.

Choreographed and complex exercises, while entertaining, cause a breakdown in form and a decrease in motor unit recruitment and fiber force. Doing too many unstable exercises that require coordination cause fatigue and lower the force production and mechanical tension in the muscle. Too much variety makes it impossible to track progressive overload and know if your program is working.

Take a bicep curl to reverse lunge exercise as an example. I can perform bicep curls with 15lb dumbbells to technical failure for 8 reps, and I can lunge with 45lb dumbbells for 8 reps per leg. I won’t challenge my leg muscles enough to stimulate growth with this combination exercise. My upper body will fatigue before there is enough motor unit recruitment in my lower body to stimulate adaptation and growth.

Don’t get distracted by flashy workouts or aesthetic edits on social media. The real results come from nailing the basics: squat, hinge, push, pull - done with great form, steady progression, and consistency.

If you’re just starting out, your job isn’t to entertain yourself, it’s to build a foundation that sets you up for long-term success. And if you’re already lifting? Mastery comes from doing the simple things exceptionally well.

Train smart. Stick to the plan. Trust the process.

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References

¹ Schoenfeld BJ et al. (2017). “Strength and hypertrophy adaptations between low- vs. high-load resistance training.” J Strength Cond Res. PMID: 28834797

² Schoenfeld BJ et al. (2022). “Effects of different resistance training frequencies on muscle hypertrophy.” Sports Med.PMID: 35015560

³ Schoenfeld BJ et al. (2022). “Resistance Training Volume Enhances Muscle Hypertrophy.” Sports Med. PMID: 35291645

⁴ Schoenfeld BJ et al. (2016). “Effects of Resistance Training Frequency on Muscular Adaptations.” Sports Med. PMID: 27102172

⁵ Baz-Valle E et al. (2022). “Dose-response relationship of weekly resistance training volume and muscle hypertrophy: A systematic review.” SportRxiv. https://sportrxiv.org/index.php/server/preprint/view/460/967

Do You Have to Go Low Carb to Lose Weight?

Carbohydrates have become demonized when trying to lose weight. If you’re anything like me, you’ve tried to get in shape by controlling carbs, calories, macros, etc. Restriction always ends in frustration and a rebound.

I have clients come to me all the time saying they struggle with the amount of carbs they eat. They think if they just eat low carb they will lose the weight they’ve been struggling for years to lose.

But we know weight loss comes down to calories in versus calories out. At the most basic level, we burn calories through our metabolism and physical activity. Activity includes exercise (cardio + lifting weights) and lifestyle activities (walking, parking far away, taking the stairs, gardening, dancing, etc).

While quality of food is important for overall health and body composition, to lose weight it always comes down to the calorie equation. Eat less calories than we burn, we will lose weight, regardless of how many carbohydrates we eat. Consistently eat more calories than we burn, we will gain weight, no matter how healthy our food choices.

Carbohydrates are our body’s preferred source of fuel. When we eat carbs, they get converted into glycogen, which is stored in the muscles and liver. Glycogen is the primary source of fuel during intense exercise. Low-carb diets diminish glycogen stores which inhibits performance, workout recovery and muscle growth.

Carbohydrate and protein are very chemically different than the molecules that make up body fat. They get heavily processed in the body before being able to be stored as body fat. Dietary fat is more chemically similar to body fat, so it requires very little energy for converting into body fat. Consistently eating in a caloric surplus where the majority of the surplus is from dietary fat is guaranteed to cause fat gain. Another point to mention is if a meal is higher in fat, keeping carbs low (and vice versa: if a meal is high in carbs, keeping fats lower) helps control caloric intake and therefore fat loss.

The biggest problem with carbs is they’re easy to overeat since they tend to be processed and hyperpalatable (hello bread, chips, crackers, and pasta…). If we stick to the healthiest complex carbohydrates which include vegetables, fruit, and grains like oats, rice, yams, quinoa, and potatoes, our blood sugar will remain relatively stable and we’re less likely to overeat. Energy levels won’t dip and we’ll be satiated for hours. These complex carbs contain beneficial dietary fiber which promotes digestion and keeps us full after a meal.

If you overeat a food, it’s best to cut it out almost entirely. For me, it’s pizza and a fresh homemade or bakery chocolate chip cookie. The solution I take is to not keep it in the house, and occasionally I’ll include it in my 10% flexibility.

It’s super common among my clients to overeat bread which is usually paired with butter. If you’re someone who struggles with this, limiting the amount of bread you eat can directly help you lose weight.

Most diets restrict the amount of carbs you can eat, which helps you lose pounds overnight. This quick weight loss is simply due to the depletion of water and glycogen in your liver and muscle tissue. Ever go on vacation and when you come home the scale says you’ve put on several pounds? Good news is most of this is just water retention.

For most people, cutting out an entire macronutrient is completely unsustainable. When we tell ourselves we can’t have something, it becomes all we think about. We can only rely on willpower for so long. A balanced approach to food is the key to sustainable weight loss.

We can’t possibly control the food at every event or restaurant. We can however make the best decision given our options. We know caloric restriction is the most important thing when it comes to weight loss. So grilled, baked and broiled will trump breaded, fried and buttery foods. Chicken or fish, vegetables and a baked potato is a great option compared to  something higher in fat and heavily processed like a creamy pasta alfredo. Our results are based on what we do 80-90% of the time. We don’t have to be perfect. We can still enjoy our favorite foods in moderation 10% of the time.

The average person does well with 40-55% of their calories from carbohydrates. This level promotes good energy, reduces cravings, improves workout performance and overall mood.

It’s important to experiment and find what works best for you. If you have more fat to lose and/or are less active, you’ll fall at the lower range for carbs. If you are very active and/or don’t have much weight to lose, you can get away with eating more carbs. So the biggest takeaway is to listen to your own body and not be afraid to include quality complex carbohydrates as a regular part of your diet.

If you need more help on putting together a workout routine and nutrition plan that’s balanced, healthy and maintainable, check out Sweat and Sculpt here.

Full Body Kettlebell Workout Part 3

A NEW full body kettlebell routine designed to build lean toned muscle on the arms, legs and core and boost metabolism for effective fat loss. With only one single piece of equipment required, it’s SO easy to get this workout done from anywhere in under 20 minutes.

Complete 4 Rounds as a Circuit
12 x Romanian deadlift
10/side x Single arm press
10/side x Alternating lunge with pass through
10/side x Clean and press
10/side x Plank pull throughs
10 x Pullover with tricep extension

For more full body kettlebell routines, check out Part 1 and Part 2.

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Full Body Kettlebell Workout Part 2

The previous full body kettlebell workout was so popular I wanted to give you another routine. This workout will shred every muscle in the body in under 20 minutes. Don’t have kettlebells? You can also substitute a dumbbell.

Complete 4 Rounds as a Circuit
10/side x Rear foot elevated lunge
10/side x Single arm press
5/side x Offset kettlebell squat
10 x Jump squat
8/side x Windmill
30 x Mountain climbers

Choose a weight that is challenging but where you can do the designated repetitions with good form. For women, a kettlebell that is 10 to 25lbs is a good place to start. For men, 25 to 45lbs. I am using a 17lb (8kg) and 22lb (10kg) in this video.

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Full Body Kettlebell Workout

This full body kettlebell workout is amazing for weight loss and hitting every muscle in the body. Blast fat while toning the abs, arms and legs. There are so many benefits to kettlebell training, from burning a lot of calories in short amount of time to taking up very little space in a home gym.

Choose a weight that is challenging but where you can do the designated repetitions with good form. For women, a kettlebell that is 10 to 25lbs is a good place to start. For men, 25 to 45lbs.

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Weight Training for Beginners

When you’re new to weight training it helps to know exactly what to focus on. Starting a new routine at a gym or even from home can be intimidating. We always want to make sure we’re doing the most effective exercises and doing them properly. Which leads me to the first and most important rule.

1. Form and Technique are Everything

As a beginner to weight training, we need to build a foundation of proper movement patterns. Weight training is a skill. And just like any other skill, it takes time to learn. It’s best to start with light to medium weights you can safely control and with good form. Set aside some time to research and watch exercise videos to learn proper technique. Even better, invest in a coach for a few sessions. If you live in Fairfield County, I would love to help you.

Get your mind into the muscle and create as much tension as possible in the muscle you are working. Avoid “cheating” or transferring of weight to surrounding muscle groups. The goal is to create maximum tension in the muscle. Tension is squeezing a muscle forcefully.

2. Follow a Consistent Routine

To make lasting changes in a physique, you need to follow a progressive training plan. The best routine for beginners is 3 to 4 workouts per week with either a full body or upper/lower split. This way you are working each major muscle group 2 or 3 days per week. This frequency will stimulate change in the muscle. The stronger a muscle, the tighter and firmer it becomes. For a full body workout, select one exercise from every movement pattern. Perform 10 to 12 repetitions for 3 to 4 sets. Include a day of recovery in between each major muscle group.

Movement Patterns
1. Upper body push: bench press, dumbbell chest press, overhead press, push up
2. Upper body pull: chin up, lat pulldown, row, single arm row
3. Squat: goblet squat, front squat, box squat
4. Lunge: split squat, reverse lunge, rear foot elevated lunge, front foot elevated lunge, walking lunge
5. Hinge: deadlift, hip bridge, hip thrust, pull through, kettlebell swing, single leg deadlift, good morning
6. Weighted Carry and Core: farmer carry, single-arm carry, racked carry, overhead carry, plank, side plank, deadbug, ab rollout, banded rotation, chop and lift

So a full body workout might look like this:
A1. 3x12 Dumbbell chest press
A2. 3x12 Seated row
B1. 3x12 Back squat
B2. 3x12 Barbell hip thrusts
C1. 3x10/leg Reverse lunge
C2. 3x40 yd/side Single-arm carry
C3. 3x10/side x Deadbug

Consistency is key. You need to stick to one plan, be confident in your approach and show up. Sometimes it can take four weeks before you notice positive changes in your body. You have to trust the process and celebrate the small wins in the journey, like getting to the gym 3 to 4 times a week for a month. I have all my online clients track their workouts to ensure accountability and consistency. Visualize your end goal, the person you want to be and how you want to feel. Use this as motivation to follow through and be successful. Anyone who has made a permanent body transformation has made this a lifestyle.

3. You Don’t Have to Kill Yourself

A workout doesn’t have to be stressful to be a good workout. An effective workout can be completed in as little as 30 to 40 minutes.

For each exercise, you should be able to lift the weight for just the number of designated repetitions, in the above workout, 10-12 reps. If you can only do 8 reps, the weight is too heavy and if you can do more than 12, it’s too light. For more on how heavy a weight should be, read this article.

We want to create just enough tension in the muscle so it has to adapt and grow. Yes, we want the muscle to grow. Muscle tissue is dense and takes up very little space compared to body fat. There is no such thing as “bulky” or “lean” muscle. The “toned” physique most of my clients come to me for is building lean muscle in the absence of body fat. Muscle gives the body shape, and turns the body into a fat burning machine due to a higher metabolism and promoting fat loss hormones.

4. Cardio Guidelines

Always prioritize weight training workouts and then add cardio on top of this. The most important cardio is to be active on a daily basis. Get a fitness tracker and hit 10,000 steps per day. Cardio in between weight training workouts helps with soreness and muscle recovery. Cardio can also be added to the end of a weight training workout. Include a wide variety of cardio at least twice per week from steady state, medium intensity and high intensity interval training (HIIT).

HIIT can be done up to 2 times per week where you sprint for 10-20 seconds followed by a 20-40 second recovery interval. Continue alternating between a sprint and recovery for 10 to 15 minutes. Complete a 5-8 minute warm up and cool down. Sprints are best done on a sled, bike, stair climber, and as hill sprints.

Medium intensity includes circuit training, running, and cycling. Perform 15-30 minutes with a 5-8 minute warm up and cool down. This can be done 2 to 3 times per week.

Steady state cardio includes light jogging, brisk walking, zumba, cycling and hiking. Perform 1 to 3 times per week for 30-60 minutes.

5. Nutrition and Recovery

With this plan you’ll be in the gym 3 to 4 hours a week. There’s 168 hours in the week. What we do these other hours is more important than what we do in the gym. To transform a physique, an unprocessed diet is essential. Have lean protein and vegetables at every meal and complex carbs post workout and at one additional meal. Drink at least half your bodyweight in ounces of water each day. I have dozens of articles on how to put together a balanced healthy diet that you can read here. Getting eight hours of quality sleep each night is needed for workout recovery, energy levels and balancing hormones. Find a stress management practice that works for you whether it’s meditation, deep breathing, hobbies, sauna, or yoga.

Have fun with your workouts! Yes, they’re going to be intense, but this is how we get stronger and healthier from the inside out. Experiment with a variety of equipment at the gym, treat yourself to a new toy for the home gym, find outdoor space to do cardio. For a sustainable body transformation, our workouts need to be enjoyable.

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Sugar Addiction: How I Quit

My sugar addiction and how I quit, is a story I’ve never fully shared. Every week I talk to women who struggle with sugar cravings in the afternoon and at night. They will eat to the point of feeling sick, feeling like they can’t stop. They’re frustrated that they can’t be consistent enough to reach their goals. They’re sick of cycling between days of eating too much or depriving themselves on a restrictive diet. I hear this so often that I felt inspired to share my personal struggle and how I overcame binge eating, disordered eating and sugar addiction.

Popular diets tell us we need to have more willpower, drink a magic supplement, track all our calories and macros, cut out entire food groups, and weigh and measure all our food. But we know this isn’t the answer, diets don’t lead to permanent fat loss, but instead years and sometimes a lifetime of diet hopping.

I’ve had a sweet tooth all my life. As a child it was cookies or brownies in the afternoon and ice cream after dinner. But when I started to become disciplined in my diet, and told myself I couldn’t have sugar was when binge episodes appeared and when food would control my life from age 21 to 24.

The biggest triggers were after drinking alcohol or trying to follow a restrictive diet that cut out entire food groups or held me to a specific calorie count. At holidays or events, I’d usually go crazy on drinks and/or sweets and then come home and continue to eat more. I’d go for the chips, ice cream or cookies first, but since I don’t keep unhealthy foods in the house, I usually binged on cereal, oatmeal, protein bars, yogurt, brown rice pasta, chocolate chips, and “healthy” homemade desserts like paleo banana bread. 

I was obsessed with trying to be perfect with my workouts and tracking my calories and macros. I was so fixated on food, that it became debilitating. I remember trying to follow restrictive diets that cut out entire food groups (carbs, soy, dairy, eggs, sugar, gluten, etc.). But then I’d go out to a restaurant and it was impossible to enjoy myself because I’d be worrying about things like if there was dairy or soy in the salad dressing.

I would track calories during the day and was under-eating, so I’d have all these extra calories leftover at night. I’d eat things like peanut butter and chocolate which would immediately put me over the daily calories. I was obsessive over what I was eating and would make zero progress.

Many nights I’d eat non-stop from 8pm-11pm and then barely sleep and wake up feeling awful, not even hungry sometimes for 2 days after a binge. Wondering why I kept overdosing on sugar and feeling like I failed. My body felt awful mentally and physically after a binge. After overeating I’d feel so full, tired, and irritable. I was disgusted with myself. This went on for years, going from one binge to the next and in between trying to be very healthy and go on a sugar detox, but inevitably I’d always just eat more desserts the next day.

Despite my “clean” diet during most of the week and exercising 4x/week, I had a continuous fluff around my midsection, even my face was puffy. My energy was terrible and I didn’t feel like myself. I was totally frustrated because I felt like I was putting in all the work, but my inconsistency was preventing me from getting the results I wanted. It felt like fitness was taking over my entire life in order to have my ideal body and lifestyle. 

After every binge I would journal and blame myself, saying all I needed was more self-control or willpower, that I just needed to stop. While eating healthy and exercising made me feel amazing, which was enough motivation for me to do so, I was also telling myself I couldn’t have one single cookie. When we tell ourselves we can’t have something, it’s literally all we can think about. And then when we allow ourselves to finally have one, the floodgates open and we feel like we can’t stop.

The biggest shift came when I focused on eating for health and longevity instead of trying to attain some fitness model’s physique. It was a practice to stop under-eating during the workday, to stop obsessing over being gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, to stop watching the clock to be sure I ate every 2-3 hours. I allowed myself to have the real thing instead of making “healthy” desserts that I’d overeat because they weren’t satiating.

Eventually the binges got further apart to where I couldn’t remember the last one. I realized I was finally not thinking about food after dinner and no longer had sugar cravings. I learned how to be easier on myself, and how to eat my favorite things in moderation and find balance. I can finally enjoy parties, birthdays and holidays and not stress over it. Having self-compassion and letting go of the perfectionism self-talk was key to finding balance.

I wish I’d reached out for help sooner instead of taking all the blame. One of the reasons I’m so passionate about helping my clients learn how to live a balanced and healthy lifestyle, is I never want anyone to feel as frustrated or helpless as I did. We shouldn’t feel like a failure because we have a slice of homemade apple pie on a holiday. If you suffer from uncontrollable cravings or finding a healthy balanced lifestyle and workout routine, I would love to help you with Private Coaching.

Sugar Addiction: How I Quit Mine for Good in 5 Steps

Ditch the Diet

Diets have a 95% failure rate. The problem is most diets are highly restrictive, and when we come off of them we put back on all the weight. If we can't eat the way we're eating for the rest of our lives, it's not sustainable. I thought if I could be more perfect in my diet that the binging and cravings would go away, but dieting made it worse. I was food obsessed, in a cycle of restricting and binging. Instead of dieting, we can eat nutrient-rich unprocessed whole foods that naturally regulate appetite and satiety.

I began to eat like an adult. Lean protein, vegetables and healthy fats at every meal. Complex carbohydrates based on how active I was. When we eat mindfully, we can recognize when we’re full or when we need to increase calories because we’re more active.

Sleep

Sleep is my anchor. If I don’t get 7 to 8 hours, my body feels totally out of balance. I get cravings and become less driven by my goals. When I was binge eating late at night I’d get poor quality sleep and was always in a cycle of being exhausted.

Lack of sleep directly increases cortisol, the stress hormone. It also disrupts hunger hormones, ghrelin and leptin, that regulate appetite and fullness. For more ideas on how to get better quality sleep, read this article.

Break the Habit

A habit is any behavior done automatically and repeatedly without really thinking about it. Usually we are in a state of reacting to our subconscious beliefs. Once we become aware and decide to consciously respond, we can change our habits which will change our realities.

I unconsciously used food and alcohol as a way to soothe and distract myself from whatever emotion I was feeling. For most of my disordered eating I was at a job I was unhappy and completely bored with. I relied on food to create that happiness. When I pursued a career I was passionate about, and focused on the type of person I needed to become in order to be the best coach and trainer, I felt more creativity, happiness and excitement.

Realistically we can’t all leave a job because it makes us unhappy. But we can implement new habits that make us feel good. Instead of going into the kitchen we can: draw a bath, read an inspirational book or watch your favorite TV show. When we make time for more things we love during the week, whether it be walking in nature, a yoga class, calling a friend, we feel happier and more fulfilled without having to turn to food. Make a list right now of 10 to 20 things that make you feel good. What did you love to do when you were a kid?

As an extroverted introvert I can only last so long at a party. When I stay too long I find myself reaching for more drinks or food to take the edge off. I decided to stay at home on the weekends more and watch a good movie and go to bed early, instead of mindlessly partying and drinking. I also made a point to surround myself with positive people.

Eat for Health and Longevity

When we decide to eat and train for nourishment and strength, it becomes a lifestyle. The sustainable path to results is one where healthy habits are compounded over time to where they become who we are. When I started to view food as fuel and nourishment and practice portion control, being lean year-round became more effortless.

Practice Moderation

Moderation and balance are a practice. We don’t wake up one day and learn how to eat just one cookie or even a few bites of one. This looks different for everyone. It took time to get rid of the mindset that I needed to reward myself with food because I was “good” all week.

There are still times I’ll turn down dessert, but now it’s not because my “diet” says I can’t have it, it’s because I choose not to because maybe I’m full, not in the mood, content with a cup of tea or it’s not my favorite flavor. Instead of eating 100% clean all week, I eat a 90% unprocessed diet and enjoy 10% flexibility for my favorite things which are high quality treats like cheese, dark chocolate or wine. Indulgence is now a choice not a failure.

The first and most important step is to speak with someone about your disordered eating. Consult a counselor or psychologist to uncover the emotions behind binge episodes.

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